Zenith and Nadir, all in 24 Hours

We finally got The Call, telling us that our adoption agency had found a potential match for us. As you are probably sensing from the manner of this narrative, things did not unfold has we had expected...
Ally got the call while at work, around 9 am. She called me excitedly and we arranged to have our case worker call us at home at 4 pm so we could be together when she gave us all the information about the baby. We raced home, set up the video camera, got out the laptop, and made the call to our case worker. Over the next 2o minutes, we were introduced to a very cute little baby via pictures and documents on e-mail and some description from our case worker, who had had the opportunity to meet and hold the child.
After hanging up, though, both of us felt anxious and confused. Tired and overwhelmed, we didn't talk and instead plopped into bed for a 2-hour nap, but that didn't shake the uneasiness we felt. What came next was a difficult period of admitting to the feeling we couldn't shake that this child was not the best match for us. Our heads so wanted to say "yes" to this referral, pack our bags, and make plans to travel. We had planned the whole past year for us to adopt during the next few months, as we both are off from school during the summer. We knew that saying "no" probably meant a delay of several months, a wasted summer, and more waiting, which we're totally sick of.
And yet we knew that we had to say "no." At least we were both in agreement, which helped solidify our decision. Wise and loving feedback from some friends over the next day further confirmed our intuition. And so in 24 hours we went from the elation of The Call to more weeks/months of uncertain waiting.
It was difficult to feel the way we did--like I said, we each much preferred not to feel this way, just to be able to say "yes." And what if were just being picky? Or overly anxious first-time parents? These self-doubts were difficult to hurdle inititally, but we knew we had to be true to what we felt. Entering into international adoption brings so much uncertainty with it; the least we can do is have a good sense of peace going in, and neither of us felt it in this case.
I am deliberately withholding the details of why we could not accept this referral. I would feel comfortable sharing the details with those of you more familiar with our story and journey, and I'm sure I'll be talking with a good deal of you about it in the coming days.
Thanks for following our journey and offering your continued encouragement and support.