We found out from our adoption agency last week that there are currently no sibling groups in their orphanages under the age of two, which is what we had requested. This news was quite disappointing to us--we were still really excited about having decided for sure to adopt two children instead of one.
We now need to evaluate our options. Here are several:
--Wait until a sibling group under two comes to one of the orphanages working with our agency.
--Adopt only one child this time around.
--Be willing to adopt at least one child a little older.
Our agency recently stopped doing adoptions of mutliple children at the same time who are not siblings. We don't know the details, but apparently there is evidence that such adoptions make it tougher on the kids with extra issues later on...Thus, we can't adopt two unrelated children under the age of two.
Those of you who pray, would you join us in praying for wisdom in how to proceed? Our desire to is to adopt little ninos (or ninas) under the age of two, but we are open to the idea that we're being drawn into a plan that may not be our first choice but the best in the big picture (the poema tapestry).
Those of you with you experience in this area--any input you can offer?
Thanks for your support!
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Hey Christian and Ally!! It's been a while. So you're adopting not one kid, but two!! Are you crazy (LOL)?? It's a worthy calling for sure and one that Erin and I had talked about early in our marriage too. We'll be praying for you guys and for the sibling pair (God willing) you'll be adopting. God must have something special up His sleeve since it's taking so long *HA*
We're happy to be in on the journey with you!
Love, Steve & Erin
Bummer.
No professional experience, but I can offer some of the personal variety.
My sister and I were adopted, each as babies, 27 months apart, each from different adoption agencies, each from different birth parents.
My memories before and around that time are sketchy images at best (I remember being in a dimly lit room in the house I grew up in). But I was talking at the time. I had a friend my same age named Julie, who was the daughter of some of my mom & dad's college buddies. My enjoyment of Julie was part of why my mom and dad were eager to adopt a girl. For several months after Leslie was born, I kept calling her Julie.
Leslie and I are from different birth parents, and I don't think we look much alike, although to an Ethopian I bet we look very alike. I have loved her as a sister at 2 and I love her as a sister even more as we approach 40 (did I just say that?).
Even though I was talking when I was 2 and had an awareness of who my family was, I still had no idea I was adopted or what that meant until I was around 5 or so, when Mom and Dad told me. I can remember riding around on my yellow bike thinking about it. They were very candid with me, and even at a young age (not sure if it was 5 but it was definitely pre-adolescent) told me that I could find out who my birth parents were some day if I wanted to. I remember thinking that a hunt for your birth parents sounded creepy. It is a hunt neither Leslie nor I have commenced.
I don't know much about case studies, research, statistics, and issue developing out of adoption. I know even less about these when the adoptions are international, inter-ethnic. But I do know that kids know when they are loved, and that family is much more than blood and genes. Maybe I am confusing when I say kids know they are loved. What I mean is that when they are loved, they know love.
I'm probably not a lot of help, but a story is always good even if you never learn anything from it. As I read your latest entry, I wondered if maybe there was a 2 year old child in Ethiopia with a newborn sibling coming along just as you approach adoption day. Or maybe it would be ok if you adopted from two different agencies if you're really eager to have a pair. I do know that children believe what you tell them, and if it's wrapped up with love and family, they don't have any reason not to.
Hey guys. I have not seen you 2 in so long. I am so excited to find your blog. I have been hearing things about this but now to read about it is so cool. you 2 are amazing. you will be great parents. Love, Lindsey (Gary) Neal
PS i have a blog but for somereason at this time it will not let me sign in so my blog is gary-nealfamily.blogspot just so you know and if you want to see Shawn or jeff's you can get to it from there.
That is very exciting! My prayer for you is patience on God's timimg and that things work out exactly as He wants! We will stay updated through your blog.
We're so excited for you guys as you experience this journey with the Lord! We've missed seeing you, and you will be in our prayers as you wait for God's perfect timing for your family!
Courtney & John Critz
Ally,
Great to hear from you. We will pray that things work out well for you guys. We're here in Tulsa, at Wright Christian Campus pastoring the church here.
Keep in touch. Have a great day.
Ally and Christian, congratulations on your decision to adopt! I'll be following your story.
Wendy (Rush) Chapel
How fun is that! God bless you guys. I'm really excited to read along with your journey.
Hi Christian and Ally,
I know that you desire children under the age of two, and I personally think that it is wrong to take a child out of their own culture after the age of five. A difficult situation for sure. I will pray for you and ask that the Lord gives you wisdom in making your choice. I can say that growing up, my brother (who is 18 months younger than me), was my best friend in the entire world and with us moving so much because dad was in the Air Force, I always had a friend. He is my only lifelong friend. I think both you and the children would benefit from having two together.
-Michael Ann
Hi...I am Amy. I don't think I have left you guys a comment before on your blog. Are you guys adopting through Gladney too? Great! Any decisions made yet about what to do? Thanks for following our story...I will be following you guys as well!
Amy
I know the idea of adopting an older child is tough, especially when you have the image of tiny babies in your arms. I am a teacher and I have taught quite a few adopted children. Some were adopted as infants and others as toddlers. I even taught a girl who was adopted at age 13. They, along with all my students, are a joy to know. It takes a very special family to adopt an older child. WHen my husband and I are in a better position finacially, I would like to adopt children myself. I haven't considered what age yet. Is it possible that if you choose to adopt an infant only that you mind be separating the infant from an older sibling? The infant won't realize but that is a huge loss for an older child. That is something to consider, especially since your hearts are already open to adoption. In addition to spiritual searching, have you looked into what support services are available in your community that might help an older shild? Does your school system have a good ESL program?
I don't know you but you are in my thoughts. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for your family.
Have your read Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft? If you decide to adopt an older toddler/child this might help you get ready.
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