From Axum To Here

tidbits

2010-06-08T12:14:00.000-06:00

I wanted to write a few little fun things about Eece, because he changes every day and I don't want to forget the details!
Reece will not go to bed without socks. We do our nighttime ritual of brushing teeth, reading 2 books, I tell him a story then he tells me a story, we sing one song, and then he begs for me to go night night with him, he asks to give me hugs and kisses, he wants to tell me something by the door, he says he wants more hugs and kisses, he asks for his baba (bottle), he asks for a bandaid for the slightest boo-boo, he begs for just ONE more story, he says, "Mama, whach are WE gonna do tomorrow?", ETC.! So anyway after I finally tear myself away, he can be heard climbing up on his dresser to pull the top drawer open and getting some socks. In the morning, I ask him why he always puts socks on, and he says, "Because my feet were bery cold and they were almost freezing."

Reece just asked me, "Mama, why aren't we going anywhere? Why are we staying in the house?" (he loves to just get out.. go to McDonald's playland, only to sit by me or play with his trucks, but at least he gets his beloved french fries!) He also loves to go to Michael's (craft store!)...perhaps that's because I let him buy one candy when we go. He also loves all the little kid crafts there, and the little dollar cars.

Reece and I are currently hanging out for a few weeks this summer before I go to work for 2 weeks teaching crafts to my elementary kids. Then Reece will be hanging out with Dada! Yesterday we went swimming and he loved it...

Now, can you imagine a cuter ad for watermelon than this one?!! LOVE THIS LITTLE GUY!
OH I almost forgot... out of the blue, he said, "Mama, I like you, I think you're beau-ful!" He just melted my heart!!!

my little boy

2010-05-17T09:07:00.000-06:00

Reece does not get the title "Big Boy" until he goes potty on the potty chair every day for a week! We are working on it, but he seems especially resistant!!! Here are just a few little photos of our daily life together...
Reece fell off the bed, busted his lip, and he cried for approximately 2 seconds, then said, "I need a band aid". So I handed him one, and this is what he did with it...

And you thought Reece's eyes were big before! I took Reece to Toys R Us for the first time... he was a little overwhelmed. He just found the first rack and started pulling all the toys off... I kept having to distract him and show him around the whole place! I wanted him to find some super toys so we could use them as prizes for when he goes on the potty chair every day! He wanted this one.. a $300 "Lightning the Queen" car. He looks so excited in it!!!! I remember as a kid I would have looooved a little car... but I just don't want him to get spoiled!

If you look closely, you will see that Reece turned all the trains on their sides, because they were tired and wanted to go night night. I took this picture at midnight while he was sleeping.

winter fun times

2010-03-23T13:20:00.002-06:00

It actually SNOWED in Texas! Actual SNOW that stuck to the ground... maybe 6 inches of it! I was sooooooo excited! Reece said he didn't want to wear his mittens because they were "too cold".
Reece and Mama had a super fun date at Waffle House. When we sat down, he said, "Mama, let's talk about a owl." (which is his favorite book for the present... "Owl at Home", which is a book I used to have when I was a kid!) So he proceeded to tell me the WHOLE story about the owl... his detail was incredible. Then, I was trying to take a little video of him telling the story about the owl, but I was taking video with my phone, and he thought I was taking his picture, so he kept cheezing it up with a huge smile, and he wouldn't talk anymore! It was hi-larious!!! I don't know how to upload videos or I'd show you. Anyway this little guy is the most delightful little thing. I think he's the best, ever.
And the last photo is Dada and Eece "guabbing" each other. Yes, it's a little word we made up that basically means, cuddling/hugging/playing/wrestling etc. Reece is the smiliest kid I've ever seen! It's awesome to be his Mama! :)

Reece is 3!!!

2009-11-02T12:27:00.002-06:00

Our sweet angel turned 3 years old this weekend! We had a "Word World" themed party for him (since that's his fave TV show). I made him a Duck cake and his Nana, Auntie M, and cousin Boo were the guests of honor. He got lots of new clothes (yay!!!) and even some new toys. We were also blessed with gifts from the mail from his Aunties/Uncles/Cousins up in Minnesota!

soomebody comment! or no more photos!!!!

2009-10-06T21:10:00.002-06:00

Eece ran into my room this morning and said "Happy Birthday Mama!!! What a little sweetie. I say, "Reece, are you Mama's beauty?" and he says, "No, I Dada's muneca!" (Yeah, we call him muneca, which is the Spanish word for "doll".)

Okay, I posed Reece for this shot because he has the cutest way of trying to charm us into giving him what he wants. If we say no to him for some reason, he turns his head sideways and cuts his eyes at us, and gets a big smile and makes this little sing-songy noisy that is totally irresistable! We call it "being skunky".

Reece found all my knitted items and decided to take them for a spin. What a blast- sliding all over the kitchen floor!! Reece is almost 3 now! Wow... he'll be 3 the day before Halloween.
Okay people you need to please leave comments!!! I wonder if I'm posting in vain!!!

supa cute

2009-08-17T20:27:00.003-06:00

I love how this photo shows Reece's enthusiasm! Nana always cooks eggs for Eece when we visit in Tulsa. This time Nana let Eece help!!
Me and my BFF Jill del Rio! In just 2 short weeks she delivered a healthy baby boy Benjamin! :) We visited them in Las Vegas for a week. We had three 2-year-old boys running around. We had a blast!
OOOH that smile!! Those dimples! Both Dada and Eece!
Eece does love his Mama. Awwww.
What would summer be like without a slip-n-slide??? Reece loved it (except for the mean ants who somehow bit his little toes).

Blog Union VIdeo

2009-06-23T10:23:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMbywycuiWg&feature=player_embedded

I don' t know how to embed things into this blog but if you can somehow get to the above YouTube video, you'll see lots of beautiful children adopted from Ethiopia! This video was taken last summer at the Blog Union (wasn't a "reunion" because most of us hadn't officially met in person yet!) And yes Reece is in the video!

Spring Break (now that it's summer)

2009-06-16T10:59:00.006-06:00

Okay! I had to pull a photo up from the Archives!!! Is this not the cutest kid you've ever seen?!!! He's irresistible!!! This photo was taken 1 1/2 yrs ago... sigh! Reece talks all the time now... this little baby didn't have any words yet.
Oh darn, this one is tiny... but I just wanted to show you how much Christian and Reece delight in each other! Christian can't keep his hands off Reece- he loves to grab his belly, toes, and "hahms" (also known as his thighs). We call this guabbing. Yes, we have our own little silly family language that is nearly impossible to explain, however we find it endearing. When we were in Chile, they referred to babies as "guaguas" (pronounced wah-wahs). So we Anglicized the word and pronounced it Gwa-gwa. And then it evolved into a verb, known as guabbing. It's when you find your baby so irresistible that you have to run up and guab him! Pick him up, toss him around, let him ride on your back, squeeze his belly or legs, cuddle him, cradle him, kiss the brown sugar on his neck, etc. Or, if Reece is pretty tired, he will absentmindedly guab himself- like, while watching TV, he'll play with his own toes or rub his hand repeatedly on his toy elephant. That's guabbing.
Yes our little sweetie pie smiles all the time. Well, almost. He loves to help Mama and Dada on their computers. I'm sure he would squeal with delight if we ever allowed him to touch the buttons. Here, Reece is looking at a photo of himself on the internet. (I am on the design team for Creative Memories scrapbooking products, and I made a page with his picture on it! So I don't know if he realizes that maybe thousands of people have seen his picture online! go to http://projectcenter.creativememories.com/photos/discover_construction_zon/boys-and-their-toys-scrapbook-layout-2.html and you can see it!

I just love this little picture of my guys. We enjoyed camping at Turner Falls, OK. All day before we left, Reece ran around saying, "Go camping! Go camping!" even though he didn't know what camping was. Also, when we told him about the waterfall, he kept asking desperately to see it- even though he didn't know what a waterfall was, either.
Christian and I both felt amazed, and blessed that this beautiful little man has such complete trust in us. He didn't know where we were going, and he didn't know where we were when we arrived, and yet he was just as content as he could be, trusting in Mama and Dada to take care of him. He loved taking walks in the woods; he loved the tent; he loved the sticks and the dirt; he loved the waterfall; he loved our poor excuse for S'mores (there was a fire ban at the campground...we made s'mores over hot coals). This little guy is just as delightful as possible. We are soooooooo in love with him!

Missed you!

2009-01-24T03:37:00.003-06:00

Reece really loved meeting little Ruthie Funderburk! He keeps saying "Baby Woothie"!! Perhaps he has already fallen in love with her?? We have so much enjoyed having Jana and Michael in our lives. We became friends through the Gladney Ethiopia adoption program.

Reece loves to watch "the Office" with us! I wonder how long that will last?

Reece is looking at the "Book of Eece", at pictures of me, him, and Wagaye (wuh-guy-a) who is his birth mother.

I lubba that belly!

Love those 80 degree January days in Texas!!!

Little Reece keeps me sooo busy that I don't have time to blog! Actually I spend my time making real (physical) scrapbook pages about him... so much, that he calls the scrapbook the "book of Eece". He is talking more and more every day!!!
I was showing him pictures of his birth mother, Wagaye... the woman to whom we are forever indebted. I was telling him about her...and now Reece goes around saying "Gaye belly" (becuase I told him he grew inside Wagaye's belly). It is so precious... we want him to know that he was adopted and that he has two moms who love him, and we want it all to seem very normal and natural.
In other news...I am partaking in Project 365... it is soooo cool! You take one photo every day. I've done a good job so far this year!!! 24 photos in 24 days... I am already surprised at the greater variety of photos I am getting.
I also just started another blog...(it's 3:50 am) It's my papercrafting blog! I do all sorts of paper arts and it's my way of relaxing and having fun. I make greeting cards, teach cardmaking classes, and have a personal scrapbooking service! Anyway that is at
http://ally-minimonkey.blogspot.com is that right???
So enjoy these photos of Reece!!! He is soooooooooo precious! He recently said a 4 word sentence: "Donkey look through window." That's what's happening in one of our favorite books by Richard Scarry. We LOVE him! Christian and I both read his books when we were kids, so we are so excited that his books are still available.

Pumpkin Carving Extraordinaire

2008-11-04T17:51:00.003-06:00

We hosted our 8th annual party this year! I wanted to carve Mother Theresa but I couldn't find a pattern. I settled for Mona Lisa instead. We had lots of fun getting messy. We had a blast from the past with Steve and Erin, and Melissa coming this year! :) And faithful Shawn showed up again, proving her steadfast devotion for the 8th year in a row! Reece had lots of fun, being entertained by Joshua Coan!

Halloween Cuteness!

2008-11-04T17:38:00.002-06:00

Oh Reece was the cutest little monkey ever!!! He liked his costume (bought for us by my good friend Ann, who knows that monkeys are my favorite animal!) Reece got the hang of trick or treating pretty quickly. He would go up to the houses and say "Treat" and then "Thank you." A few times he put candy from his bag into the bowls of candy of the people we were visiting. What a refreshing lack of greed on his part! :) He got a little bit scared at one of the houses (look at him eyeing the fortune teller lady!) But overall we had a super blast. Nana, Papa, M, and Boo came to visit and share Reece's birthday/Halloween weekend, so he got LOTS of attention and loved every minute of it!

Bald Eece commentary

2008-11-04T17:36:00.001-06:00

Okay, I have to defend myself. I was buzzing Reece's hair to about a 1/2 inch, when he suddenly jerked and I cut a huge bald spot about 5 inches long across his head. No bleeding or anything, but there was NO saving his hair after that! He sorta looked like he'd been in a major car accident and had brain surgery. So I figured the most sympathetic thing to do was to make him bald! And don't worry everyone, this happened a month ago, so now his hair is about 1/4 inch long and looks very nice!

Bald Eece!

2008-11-04T17:27:00.003-06:00

Someone (who will remain nameless) told me that it's really easy to cut ethnic hair. All you have to do is get a men's beard trimmer and put on an attachment, then just buzz the hair to about 1/2 an inch. So here's what actually happened...

Mr. Happy

2008-05-30T22:01:00.000-06:00

In case this picture wasn't enough to make the point, the shirt Reece is wearing actually says "Mr. Happy" on it.

We are absolutely amazed by Reece's fun-loving nature and good-natured temperament. He is happy and congenial almost all of the time, and is bringing huge amounts of joy and fun to our house and family. He does show the occasional flash of temper if he doesn't get his way, expressing this by a quick swat, urgent utterance, or stamping of the foot. Recently, he has discovered his thespian side and will cast himself on the floor and bury his head if he doesn't like one of Mommy or Daddy's decisions. We are so happy with this little guy!

I'm an American!

2008-05-28T18:38:00.000-06:00

Mom and Dad finally got off their duffs and had me adopted (re-adopted? the adoption recognized?) here in the United States. Bright and early on April 30th, Mom and Dad rousted me out of my slumber and carted me down to the Ft. Worth courthouse for an 8 am appointment. A few repeat-after-me's, raisings-of-the-right-hands, and questions from some dude in a black robe, and it was done! Oh yeah, and the bailiff gave me a stuffed animal and took pictures of all of us. Not a bad deal, really...
After all of that, there was some business about social security something or another, so we headed a few blocks over to Taylor St. to take care of that. Then it was off to IHOP for a celebratory breakfast--a great morning, all in all!
(Post script from parents: turns out that our lawyer doesn't know whether this process officially makes him an American or not; she referred us to another lawyer or the INS website to find out about this. We did find out from the SSA that a TX birth certificate is enough proof for them to change their designation for Reece from "permanent alien" (or was it "resident?") to "US citizen.")

Caught in the act!

2008-05-27T22:02:00.000-06:00

I am awfully curious and will put my grubby little hands on anything within my reach. I do for the most part obey my parent's off-limits areas; however, sometimes, they leave certain doors open and I get to explore "uncharted territory."

In this particular photo, I had decided to help myself to Mom's drink by her bedside. After swiping it from the night table, I walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, dumping the drink into my mouth along the way (never mind that I don't know how to drink out of a regular cup). I didn't really care that most of the liquid was making its way onto my shirt and the carpet rather than my mouth...

I didn't, however, anticipate the effect of the spilling drink on the linoleum floor of the kitchen. Upon passing into the kitchen, I promptly slipped on the floor and landed on my back, banging my head on the ground. If you look closely, you can see the brown color of Mom's tea on the floor by my head. My bitter crying caught the attention of Daddy, who, upon discovering my pathetic state, added insult to injury by taking a picture of me before tending to my boo-boo!

Beauty and Cutey

2008-05-26T01:08:00.000-06:00

Here are my beautiful wife and handsome baby bathed in the late-day sun of Easter Sunday. Notice Reece's all-natural mohawk! I liked it and wanted to continue to let it grow (harboring secret ambitions for Reece to have Sampson-like powers), but Mommy and Nana put the kabosh on that and reined it in a few weeks later with Reece's first haircut:

Re-legitimizing ourselves in the blogosphere

2008-05-25T17:25:00.005-06:00

We know we've really dropped off the globe of the Ethiopian adoption blogosphere since the arrival of Reece--just a few short bursts of postings months apart since we came home with him last August. To make an analogy: in the world of Ethiopian adoption we have "made it" and are now rich and lazy--we have forgotten our roots!

Now that we have decided to party down with other Drew, Carey, and Zoe, as well as other Ethiopian adoptive families this summer in CA (click here for more info) , families who for the most part have met through the blogosphere, we are feeling the pressure to re-legitimize ourselves in the blogosphere. We don't want to be imposters out there!

I really would like to write more regularly, but I'm too busy (oh wait, I have only one child and you other bloggers often have 2 or 3 or more!)...well, actually, it's my job that's so demanding (oh wait, Ally and I are both in the school system and we only have 3 months of vacation every year)...ok, I'm just lazy. So here comes another flurry of postings about life with our very own Ethiopian royalty, Ras Besufekade!

I'm on a roll

2008-02-10T23:03:00.001-06:00

Is this not the cutest baby you've ever seen in your entire life?!!!!! I could just gobble him up!
Yes, it's my first Christmas in America, and my first one as Reece Besufekade Gehman.
I love the stairs..I am learning how to climb them. I had a great time with my cousin Lief. He loved to grab my arm and take me around the house, showing me the ways of the world.
I really loved Pops' dog, Dori. But I think it was a case of unrequited love. Sigh...

Here are the Gehman family cousins, all under the tree! Reece didn't really "get" Christmas, not understanding that certain presents were for him. He just roamed around, looking inside everyone's bags and boxes, and was equally excited whether the present was for him or not.

Blog-challenged

2008-02-10T22:50:00.000-06:00

I LOVE this pix of Christian and Reece! He looks so tiny and cute... Daddy is nearby to help him tread through the icy stuff.
We found a baby tree just my size!!!
This is exactly how I feel about all this snow, and my being "bundled up"!

Here I am at Christmas in Minnesota, visiting the Gehman side of the family. It snowed for us on Christmas day!!! I think Mommy was more excited about it than I was. They dressed me up in this silly outfit that was very hot and confining.

For some reason it keeps posting my uploaded pictures out of order!!! Anyway this is our little sweet boy sitting happily at his high chair. This is actually a rarity, as mealtimes have become our most stressful! Sometimes he likes green beans, then the next night he spits them out. He used to love vienna sausages but now he'll throw them off his tray. And he hates being strapped down! And he will often cry and we can't figure out why. But from what I've heard, this is typical toddler behavior. Is he a toddler? I want him to still be a baby!!!

making up for 3 months!

2008-02-10T22:36:00.000-06:00

This is my buddy Deacon who came over for a play date! This time, I didn't even knock him over!
Reece got his own personal carved pumpkin (made by Mommy) for his birthday! We lit it up inside and turned the lights out in this picture. We had a Birthday/Pumpkin Carving party and lots of family and friends showed up to celebrate.
Here's our little man on his First birthday (Oct 30, 2007). I made him a special little pumpkin shaped cake. He didn't really know what to do with it! We hardly ever give him anything with sugar in it, so he almost didn't really like it! He wasn't too impressed with all my hard work.

I know we have been amiss in posting pictures of our beautiful baby... but I am more of a scrapbooker of actual pictures than a blogger. But for those of you who can't see the scrapbook, here are some highlights! This one was actually NON-POSED although Reece is just so photogenic that it looks set up! He is TOO adorable. We just can hardly keep our hands from grabbing him all the time!

photos!

2007-11-15T14:03:00.001-06:00

This is my new thing- pointing my finger.

We had to take pictures becuase this is my favorite outfit on him!

This little guy has lots of toys... but he'd just as soon play with straws, small paint bottles, and tupperware!
My orange beauties! My beautiful husband and son, and my marigolds I planted from seed (and they actually grew! I am so excited about that!)
KILLER RABBIT! You thought it was just a myth from the Monty Python movie... but we really met one. This little bunny thought Reece's toe was a little nibble of food. We were at the petting zoo, and Reece just started crying hard for no reason! We thought the rabbit scared him, which seemed odd becuase he loves cats and small dogs. Only a few moments later did we realize this little innocent-looking bunny bit Reece's toe, when we saw blood on his toe and two little rabbit teeth marks! I think this picture is hilarious and sad all at the same time. I am so glad Daddy kept taking pictures during this traumatic event!

one more

2007-09-23T22:15:00.000-06:00

My dear friend Kelly came to visit us this week, and she brought her super cool camera and took these great photos! My outfit is from my buddy Carmen. The shirt is from our dear friend Jill Coan. OOPS! I shouldn't have started giving credits. I'm sure to leave off somebody. I just wanted the world to know that we are sooo thankful to everyone for their gifts. It has made us know that we are loved and accepted!

fun fun fun

2007-09-23T22:05:00.001-06:00

I don't really know how to kiss yet, but I do like to butt Mommy with my forehead, and then I open my mouth big and slobber on her!
Hee hee I am just so happy!!! I get so excited that I wrinkle my nose up.

Here's a really fun, common sight around our house. Reece just wants to see everything that's going on... he's peeking over the side table beside the couch so he can see if there's anything up there to grab.

when will i get this right?

2007-09-13T19:20:00.000-06:00

This is our first morning with little Reece! We had just "received" him an hour before. He just hung out with us all day... I didn't hear him cry until about 8:00 that night!
Isn't he just precious!!!!!
Here's another family picture at a restaurant in Ethiopia... Reece is never looking!
Wow... here's Reece's two moms, one giving up her baby forever, the other driving off in the sunset with him. Incredible. I love this picture. You can tell how much Reece is loved by both of us. Reece's birth Mom thinks he looks like her! I don't think so... but I really think he has her disposition. She was very sweet, she seemed sincere, and she smiled a lot.
Reece loves his bath time! He tries to drink the water streaming out of the faucet, like a little dog or cat.

pix

2007-09-13T19:19:00.001-06:00

pictures

2007-09-13T19:16:00.001-06:00

Oops... that other picture is our actual first time meeting Reece!!!

I can't stop adding pictures!

2007-08-29T22:42:00.001-06:00

Here's one of those delectable leaves I was talking about!

Mommy didn't know that I'd be almost walking at 9 1/2 months of age, so she bought me these really cozy, fuzzy, and unfortunately slippery socks. This is one of our only family photos taken in Ethiopia.

They say I make the cutest faces!!!
Yes, we were THIS CLOSE to this huge lion. It was amazing. I don't even have a telephoto lens. I was probably 3 feet away from him (the photo was taken thru the fence.) These are the majestic Abyssinian lions.. they have a black mane. We heard them roaring, and it was truly haunting and ferocious! It echoed and reverberated more than we could have imagined.

Yo, wassup dawgs, I'm just rollin' with my homies through the hood. Mommy made sure that there were no Crips or Bloods in Ethiopia, then she let me wear this supa cool blue skull cap.

Photos by popular demand!

2007-08-29T21:47:00.001-06:00

Look how super cute I am at the "Rodeo" restaurant in Ethiopia. My little arm is bandaged because they drew blood from me this morning. I was NOT happy about that and it made my Mommy sad to see me crying like that!

This is me being really sad because my Mommy had the nerve to leave the room I was in! I'm also sad that Mommy doesn't know how to rotate a picture she's downloaded on the blog!
I really loved this little kitten who stayed at the hotel with us. We were great companions. He tolerated all my hard pets and kept coming back for more.

Whoopee! This is the day we visited the Sheraton hotel in Addis Ababa. I am really glad to be free to crawl around! This is also the first day I ate leaves. Mommy and Daddy figured they were organic, and had lots of fiber... but then they knew they were wrong when I vomited them all up.
Look at the hat Mommy made me! Look how they also forgot to bring bibs to Ethiopia so I have six inches of drool down the front of my clothes.

Heading to Addis anytime soon?

2007-08-25T22:42:00.000-06:00

Then maybe this will help! I did want to write about some reflections of our time in Ethiopia as well as comments/recommendations for families traveling with Gladney to Ethiopia in the future.

General itinerary: Having never been to Ethiopia before, everything was new. I very much enjoyed the itinerary our Gladney folks came up with. Some days can be busy, but we were able to opt out when needed and see some of the sights on another day. I can't think of a stop I didn't like, but here are some that stood out:

Alert Hospital: This is the leprosy hospital with a souvenir shop. The shop is stocked only with goods made on the premises, and by premises I mean literally outside the shop's door. It was very meaningful to buy products I could see being made by hand on looms just down the hall.

Abyssinian lions--I know this sounds like the cheesy tourist stop but I couldn't get over how magnificent these lions look, especially considering the cramped, damp, depressing concrete floor cages to which they were confined.

Museum--When you first walk into this 1-room museum you will think, "this is the most unimpressive museum I've ever been in!" But the soft-spoken, very kind, older tour guide was the clincher. I won't forget how tender he was with another Gladney family's newly adopted son. The museum brought to life the little bit of Ethiopia history I'd read up on--a lot of stuff from Emperors Menelik II and Haile Selassie, the two big wigs of recent Ethiopian history...

The only uneasiness I felt was in getting used to having a driver. We were ferried everywhere very skillfully by our driver, so I had no idea where we were geographically or how to get anywhere. This added to my vague feeling that I had gone "soft" by having a driver, but as a first time parent, it was a good decision.

Food: Honestly, I felt like we ate like royalty the whole time we were there! This is primarily because the food was tasty and wonderfully inexpensive. As Lonely Planet will tell you, Addis is the diplomatic capital of Africa, so they are used to the tender stomachs of westerners. Going over there, I was worried about what Allyson would eat because she can't eat anything remotely spicy and she's a bit finicky. So we stocked up on beef jerky, crackers, all that, and found most of it all still piled in our luggage at the end of the trip. Even Allyson found something to eat every meal (she recommends chicken kebab--she must have ordered that 5 times!). We ate Ethiopian, German, Italian, American, you name it. And here's the remarkable part: not one bout of diarrhea or vomiting. You'll hear don't eat the salads--I had salad almost every day. To be fair, some of the families with us had some difficulties with the food, so everybody's different, but we had an extremely positive experience. Some of our favorites:

Lime Tree: They offer breakfast, light meals, desserts, and juices. Went there for a snack on the last day--perfect! We had the strawberry juice, carrot cake and chocolate cake. The chocolate cake is simple, but seriously some of the best I've had anywhere in a while.
Makush--Italian restaurant with art gallery. "All ingredients imported from Italy" is their boast. I don't know, but it was go--od. We actually liked the spinach salad and focaccia better than our main course, so much so we went back again a few nights later to have just salad and bread. That also gave a chance to sample their desserts.
Shameless knockoffs--we didn't eat at all of these, but people will get a kick out of seeing places like "Burger Queen;" a bag of candies with "9-up" "Cola Cola" and "Fantasy" candies inside, complete with the exact same logos of 7-up, Coca-Cola, and Fanta; and Kaldi's, a Starbucks on caffeine with the exact same everything with regard to decor--color scheme, type font, etc--but with delish additional offerings like gelato and desserts.
Any macchiato--everyone recommends it, but maybe not for the reason I offer. If you frequent Starbucks at all, you will appreciate paying $0.50 for a coffee drink at a cafe in Addis that would cost at least $3 at Starbucks!
Ethiopian food--the most tasty dish I thought was the duro wat, a dark brown dish distinguished by a lamb shank and boiled egg-very flavorful (I think it's that berbere), with a kick as an aftertaste. The bozena shero was also high on my list.

People--obviously, there are nice (and nasty) people, wherever one goes, but I think the Ethiopian culture has a courtesy and kindness to it that's way above average. We soaked up the hospitality and genuine friendliness from everyone. And the people really are particularly kid-friendly--I believe I wrote already about Reece being koochy-kooed by bouncers at a restaurant one night. Truly, if we walked into a cafe, it was just as likely that men would make baby faces and sounds as women. And strangers asking to hold your baby and parade him around at their table was also standard--we wouldn't dream of having a stranger hold our babies here (well, most places, anyway). We made friends at a cafe with a single man in his mid-20s who wanted to hold our baby. Just gracious and friendly people all around. The one minor drawback to the baby friendly society is the "back seat" parenting we got--subtle comments about what we should do to comfort him. The first whimper and people were there with suggestions. I'm a new parent, but sometimes I thought, "doesn't a baby just cry sometimes?"

Stuff we wish we'd brought:

Clothes: I and one other family both saw the same weather website that described Addis as "70 degrees, but feels like 113 degrees." So we had lots of short sleeves and shorts and few long sleeve stuff. The weather was very predictable in Addis, but decidedly not feeling like 113 degrees! The temperature was always in the mid-60s, and it rained every afternoon around 3pm for 1-2 hours. Sometimes, it would rain in the early morning, and once, it rained most of the day. I could have left shorts and most short-sleeves at home. And brought a nice rain rainproof jacket.
Also, we stayed in an apartment and there was no heat. I'm guessing hotels would have heat, but you might want some extra clothes for sleeping as well.
Pack-n-Play--Ally is suggesting that people adopting kids who will be mobile might consider a pack-n-play. I don't know--that sounds high mx to me--but the toughest times with Reece were at meal times because he's grabbing everything right now. With no high chairs in Ethiopia, one of us would often have to leave the table to entertain him (The Beer Garden, a German restaurant, actually had a play area for kids).
Toys-to give out at the orphanages we visited. This would take some planning and maybe checking with staff, but Allyson said she did in Kenya when she went a while ago, and wished she would do it again.
US candy--A slightly less satisfying (but more portable)alternative is to bring for the orphans. Also, it's something to give to the beggars who hound you every time your car comes to a stop. How you will respond to the beggars (lots of kids) might be worth giving some thought to, because you'll be faced with it every time you get in the car.

Well, I'm sure I'm missing something, but there it is for now. If you're going soon, hope this helps!

Happy Threads

2007-08-25T21:56:00.000-06:00

This entry was intended for before our departure but last-minute craziness and the internet not working the day we left prevented that. What I present now is some of the fine work Ally and her mother Joan did on Reece's room in the days preceding our departure. Any gentlemen reading this now, you can probably stop here, as pretty chick stuff follows...

All of us pitched in on the painting of the room, a nice, soothing brown--I can at least claim some credit for that--but almost every piece of cloth you see was hand sewn by Ally and Joan (well, if you notice a particularly lustrous sheen to the furniture, your truly might claim credit for that as well):

Here are some cool doodads Allyson came
up with on the fly:

The chair from the other room has a green upholstery that doesn't match? No problem--let me just slap on some cloth real quick here--that's how Allyson thinks--and voila! We have a new looking chair with swank upholstery that matches the room. Oh yeah, let's make a matching pillow case, too, one that conveniently covers Christian's "ugly" (we argue over this) bachelor pillow.

Flowers and knick-knack holder--once again, hand made by Ally.

Bumpers and comforter--I'm telling you, the works!

I will spare you a picture of the current state of the room, now that it's actually being lived in;)

A shout-out to my mother-in-law, Joan, is in order here. She came down from Tulsa the week before we left and worked non-stop on whatever she could get her hands on, whether it be this fine sewing on display here or painting rooms, doing laundry, whatever. Then she was here again the day we arrived to take over for two new parents exhausted from the flight home. She proceeded to love on her new grandbaby, clean house, do laundry, and dodge the living dead haunting the house (Ally and I with the flu, which thankfully we are getting over). Thanks, Joan!

One more thing about our work before we left. The room next to Reece's is called the fun room, which is where I while away my time on the computer while Allyson industriously churns out hand-made cards (insert shameless plug here). She decided that we HAD to paint that room as well as Reece's. Being the loving husband I am, I flat out refused to help painting that room, but not only did she and Mom paint it, they did so with a fiery red!

Most impressive about this, though, was Allyson's effort to get the room back in order. Here's a picture of us after the painting is done but with all her stuff all over the floor (hard to see). The picture does not do justice to the sheer amount of stuff and the chaos of it:My friend Dave and I drug all the stuff in from its temporary storage in the living room floor, placed it on the floor, whispered a sarcastic "good luck" to Ally under our breaths, and made off for our poker night. To my chagrin, I came back from poker that night to find the room like this:
I could not believe it. In four hours, she had the whole room whipped into shape, whereas all I could boast of was a measly $1 winnings for the night (at least I didn't lose money...). Ok, had to brag on Ally for that.

Back Home

2007-08-22T11:02:00.000-06:00

We arrived back home Sat afternoon after an exhausting set of flights. We did have a surprise welcoming party--friends of ours and their kiddos met us with balloons, hugs, and faces very eager to see the baby. That was really fun and a nice surprise--thanks Coan's, Franklin's, Amy H, and Lori Y! Reece was a good sport about being passed around, but it did wear him out because no sooner did his rear hit the car seat that he was out like a light! All the protest over the car seat dissolved in sighs of exhaustion. The protests came the next day...

It's tough because we start at night (10:30pm departure), so after not even half the trip, we were already sleep-deprived. Little Reece did incredibly well--he felt confined and got antsy at times and fussed toward the end, but by then, his parents were fit to be tied, too...

If you have expected a phone call or visit from us and it hasn't happened yet, it's because Allyson and I both seem to have come down with some strain of flu. I am through the worst of it, but Allyson's just hitting it now. Thank God for GRANDMA! Allyson's mother Joan has been here to help with Reece and around the house. Ally and I have felt like the walking dead between jet lag and the bug.

When we feel more energy, we'll post vignettes and pics of our first days at home, plus our recommendations for families making the same trek as ours (aren't you just dying for that)--

Saying Goodbye, for Now

2007-08-17T04:21:00.000-06:00

Dad and Reece riding in the car, Brittney Spears style! I told you that no car seat was way more fun...

Mom tried to put a hat on him earlier in the week, but he took it right off. He seems to like this one just fine, and Ally is very happy for it.

This is Allyson introducing future masculine identity crisis issues for our poor son (this is the hat he wouldn't wear at all early in our stay; he kept it on for about 2 minutes this time, enough to get a picture.)

Reece's moms--does the picture not say it all?

We've come to the end of our wonderful time here in Addis. This trip has really exceeded our wildest expectations. I was afraid that I might just want to come back home as soon as we got Reece, but we've really enjoyed having the time here to get used to him, away from all the distractions and demands of the everyday back home. I also feel privileged to like the people and the culture of our baby's birth country so much. It's really been an awesome time--well taken care of by our agency staff, plenty of sightseeing, great food at incredible prices (if you're not much for Ethiopian food, there are tons of quality Italian places, as Italy occupied the country for some years preceding and during WWII), and the best baby ever!

We met the birth mother this morning. Allyson was very stressed about it--actually, mostly sad because she can't imagine what the birth mother must feel to have felt compelled to give him up. The meeting, however, once again, went WAY better than we could have imagined. The mother was happy to see her boy, but also happy to see the family he's ended up with. Phew--we met her approval! We spent about 45 minutes with her as a social worker translated, and were able to find out a lot about the birth mother, her past, as well as how Reece was born and cared for before she brought him to our agency (Reece was with 6 1/2 months old when he got to agency; he's now 9 1/2 months old). We also got some great video and pictures that we hope will be of value and meaning to Reece in the future. By the way, I am in no way in my unemotional man-account doing any justice to the tenderness and specialnes of this meeting--I hope Ally can write about it soon, but she's coaxing a baby to sleep in the car right now...

I came to the most expensive internet cafe in town (Sheraton) in order to try to upload some pictures before we head back. The other "high speed" internet cafes weren't so high speed...we'll see how this goes...it worked!

See many of you home soon! We leave tonight, Friday, at 1030 pm on a Lufthansa flight, and will be home Sat afternoon. Thanks to everyone for all your comments and e-mails of love and support--

Super Irresistable Cuteness

2007-08-13T12:50:00.000-06:00

Oh man, our baby is the cutest and sweetest ever. I just cannot believe how wonderful he is... he is a real charmer... he smiles all the time, and is very mellow. He loves to ride in the car and look out at the world and make little squeaking noises. He drools constantly and grabs everything in sight. It is so cool because people in Ethiopia are very fond of babies... they keep coming up to him and making googley faces at him and asking to hold him. Even men come up to us and talk to Reece! He will go to anyone... he loves to have people coming up and making kissy faces and baby talking to him. I was thinking the other day that he is realizing that I am his Mommy, because he smiles whenever I come up to him... but then again, he smiles at almost everyone!
He has this super cute smile where he will wrinkle his nose. I love to make him do that! We are still trying to figure out how much he needs to eat... he has cottage cheese thighs, man! We don't want to overfeed him but we don't want to underfeed him either. Anyway we're figuring it all out as we go. He goes through about 3 outfits a day because he drools so much... I feel sad for him having to wear a shirt with 6 inches of drool down the front!
We are really enjoying it in Ethiopia... our health has been great, the weather is wonderful (about 70 degrees... sorry all you TX and OK people!) The food has been great, too... and we have a driver! We're getting kind of spoiled! The only bad thing is the super nasty diesel fuel exhaust that comes out of every truck as we drive down the road... I can literally taste the nastiness on my tongue after several minutes of driving.
Little Reece is kinda spoiled! He will not fall asleep unless we are holding him... and then when we try to put him down into his bed, lots of times he will wake up and start crying. He is just like other babies... he fights falling asleep... there is so much of the world to see! So many things to grab! So much slobber to drool out! The other day, I set him down on the floor in our bedroom and then went through the doorway into the common area, and he saw me leaving and immediately made his super cute sad face, and began crying terribly... I stopped in the doorway and just pointed at him and said, "I'm still here, baby!" and his horribly crumpled face metamorphed into pure happiness within less than a second. It is so funny to watch his little face! He sometimes cries for no reason... I think that was a little disconcerting for Christian, who felt like he cried too easily... but I told him, that's how babies are. I think by now (only 5 days later!) Christian realizes that Reece will sometimes cry over the mildest things... like the fact that he can't reach an object he's trying to grasp. We've also realized that his reaction to things is largely affected by whether or not he's hungry/sleepy. He can fall down and bonk his head on the furniture.. .and if he's hungry or sleepy, he will cry and cry over it. But if he's full and awake, he won't cry at all, he'll just keep trucking along.
Well some people will think this is not very nice, but here goes anyway! I think Reece looks like Gizmo from Gremlins!!!!!!!! I think Gizmo is sooo cute, and Reece has those huge eyes and big smile... it's absolutely precious. Do you remember that scene at the end of Gremlins where Gizmo says, "Bye, Bill-y"- he looks super cute like that. Reece also reminds me of Tippy Turtle ("Got to get the food for Mama")... does anyone remember that cartoon? If Reece somehow gets on his back, he feels incapacitated and starts crying (including when we change his diaper)- just like a turtle would.
We don't know how we got so lucky/blessed to have such a good natured baby! He is awesome. he is such a cool kid. He just hangs out with everyone, smiling at them and laughing. Sure he cries some, too, but all babies do that. He doesn't even cry when he has a poopy diaper! We just start to smell it and then we know.
A little old man at a store told me, "Thank you for what you are doing." I was sort of confused, but then I realized that he was referring to the fact that we are adopting Reece. He said, "God will bless you for what you are doing. He is your good luck charm!" Other natives have said that God ordained Reece to be our baby... and that this baby is very lucky. Countless people have told us that.
I tell people here that his name is "Besufaked", because that word is meaningful to them, and the name means "God's will"... and most people here will say, "Aaah.... that is a very good name."
Reece's head is as round as a basketball. It just adds to his cuteness!
This computer won't let us download pictures... so you'll have to wait to see him until we can find a different internet cafe, or until we get home!
We have only had Reece for 5 days now... it's amazing how your life can change so much overnight. We are getting to know each other better every day! OH and we've already seen his crawling improving! The first day, he wouldn't let his left knee hit the ground, so he sort of had this Quasimodo limping crawl going on... but today he is crawling on both knees! And getting very dirty doing it, I might add! He got his brand new outfit really dirty today... but it's so fun to watch him play and explore that I had to sacrifice the newness/cleanliness of the outfit. What a good Mom I am!!!!
Anyway we are sooooooooo happy with Reece! He couldn't be more delightful!
On a very different note... today marks the second anniversary of our son Aidan's death/birth. I had a big breakdown while we were 30,000 feet above the Atlantic ocean on the airplane, and I couldn't stop crying. It was like, with Aidan, everything was going just fine, at our last doctor's appointment his heartbeat was strong, everything was on course... and then at the next appointment, he had died. It was truly the most horrible thing to ever happen to me. I can hardly think of anything worse that could happen to someone, than to have their baby die. I was feeling like, everything is going on course for us to get Reece... what if something random, yet terrible happens to him so that we dont' get to have him? It was just too overwhelming to think about, yet I couldn't stop thinking/worrying about it. It is all part of my grieving for Aidan... it makes sense that I would feel this way. And, of course, every single day of my life I think about Aidan and feel sad that he is not a part of our family here. I talk to Aidan, hoping that somehow God will allow Aidan to hear me... I told Aidan a few months ago that he was going to get a little brother, and I think he was happy :) And I know that Aidan would love little Reece. Aidan would be a little less than 2 years old by now... what a wonderful family we would be with little Aidan and Reece both here with us. Aidan's death has left a permanent sadness in my heart.
All that being said, little Reece has added a lot of joy to our hearts. He is such a delightful little guy! I keep saying to Christian, "Do we really get to take him home?!" and I really can't believe it.
Oh my goodness, I think we are going to meet his birth mother this Thursday or Friday. I am overwhelmed just thinking about it, and it makes me tear up just to imagine seeing her. I just cannot imagine having to give up such a beautiful, sweet baby just because I coudln't afford to feed him. It's a terrible world we live in, for things like that to happen...... but I digress. This is why Christian calls me morbidly introspective. I think I'm going to have another breakdown on Thurs. or Fri. when we meet her. I feel sadness beyond compare, that she had to give up this amazing baby. It's to much for me to bear, just thinking about it. I can't even imagine how hard it was for her to give him up. The birth dad is not in the picture... but Belay (the Ethiopian rep. for Gladney) told me that this woman really is destitute. So I want to give her, like $500 or something so she doesn't have to worry about food for a few months... but then again, is that appropriate? Will she think we're sort-of buying her baby?? There are so many delicate issues here.
Well, I'll sign off for now. My sweet husband and baby are back at the hotel and I miss them already!

On the ground

2007-08-10T08:10:00.000-06:00

We're here and we have him! We got in Wednesday night local time, which equated to about 24 hrs for us door-to-door. After getting situated at our hotel, we actually got a good night's sleep before our big day on Thursday.

There are 3 other families here with our adoption agency at the same time so we all trekked together to the agency care center yesterday morning and picked up our babies, just like that! Every family is a little different--one's a single woman with her mom adopting her first child, a 4-mo old girl. Another is a family of 5 adopting their 4th child, a 10-yr old boy named Ismael. The third family has a 4-yr old and is adopting an 18-mo old girl.

Reece is quite an easygoing fellow, it seems--my worst fears of his being freaked out by our big white faces did not materialize. He takes to about anyone who will hold him, so he likes us pretty well. He's a chubby little guy, too! The caregivers told us they were feeding him two bottles at night in addition to his daily gruel. This information meant nothing to me, but those in the know (females) agreed that 2 bottles a night for a 9-month old wasn't necessary. I guess they were right, because our little guy slept 11 hrs straight last night! He's been a little more fussy today. I suspect that may be because we haven't fed him any solids, only formula (that's all we brought). My next stop after this internet cafe is the grocery store...He's also fighting a cold--one of our first pictures with him shows his lower face covered in snot he sneezed up when we first met.

I've really enjoyed Ethiopia and the people. Admittedly, we're having a pretty cush experience because we have drivers who shuttle us effortlessly from place to place. There's an agenda of suggested activities from the agency and plenty of hand-picked restaurants that cater to western tastes, so a lot is done for us. I did get my first taste of Ethiopian food in Ethiopia and liked it a lot. It is a bit spicy, but I'm enjoying the sensation of spongy injera (their "bread") and the new mix of spices in their food.

The city itself is pretty chaotic, with goats, pedestrians, bikes, cars, and diesel-spewing trucks sharing the roadways and a helter skelter jumble of commerce (primitive shacks hawking local wares in the shadows of glitzy 1st-world businesses) lining the roads. I think it's a fairly typical developing world big city, with these distinctions: lots of beggars who are pretty insistent but not aggressive. This means that they come to the car door and beg (or hawk goods), but don't go away when I say "no"--they just continue hovering or repeating the same sales pitch. But they don't get in my face or try to step it up. The other distinction is the people--very friendly, very hospitable, very gracious.

Ethiopians are VERY baby friendly. All kinds of people have trotted Reece around already, including random elderly women in the orphanages we visited and the waiter at the restaurant last night. It's really cool and really safe. In fact, at the orphanage we left him with an older woman (a cook) who insisted on holding him, toured the rest of the orphanage, then came back. On the one hand, it seemed strange to leave him with a stranger 6 hrs after getting him, but you get the sense that that's just how it's done here! Plus, Reece really is easygoing, so he doesn't mind--rather fancies the attention, I gather.

Something else we've enjoyed is riding with him in the back seat of the car with no car seat. Traffic is crazy but slow--I have yet to see even a fender bender, but if you saw the traffic you think there'd be wrecks everywhere. It's fun playing with him and watching him observe the world go by through the windows. We know this is not an option at home, and thought we might anxious about the safety issue, but it's worked out great.

I'd like to attach some pics, but it took a full minute for my e-mail inbox to load, so that doesn't bode well for uploading pics. Perhaps I can get some internet time at the Sheraton, although I've heard that "broadband" doesn't mean the same here.

We're just so happy to be holding baby Reece. The rest is gravy. Ok, hope to post more soon--

Court Date

2007-07-31T11:46:00.000-06:00

Woo hoo! The court date in Ethiopia went well. Our little Reece is one step closer to being OURS! Actually, when we land in Ethiopia, he is officially OUR BABY and we can take him back to our hotel right then!!!! We bought our plane tickets and are traveling August 7th. We only have one week to prepare!

Does God speak through shoes at Wal Mart?

2007-07-30T01:15:00.000-06:00

As Christian mentioned, we've had a little "marital discord" about naming the baby. We were discussing how hard it is to choose among names... some sound better, others look better (we are both into spelling!) and others have a more meaningful meaning (am I allowed to say that?) We were at La Madeleine discussing our "turmoil" over what to name the baby and Christian said he just keeps praying that God will reveal it to him. We had it narrowed down to two names and we just couldn't break the tie.
Sooooo as I was calling friends telling them the good news, I was shopping at Wal-Mart for baby stuff... ya know, trying to choose between 10 types of baby bottles when I don't have a clue which one will be better for our little guy. And then they have the CUTEST baby shoes! But man, how am I supposed to know if a 9 month old wears a size 1 or size 3.... and actually I figure he doesn't need shoes anyway but they are so darn CUTE!!! I was just talking to one friend right after the other, talking on my headset, walking with my shopping cart when I saw some cute brown heels (for me, not baby). Anyway I tried them on, sort of absentmindedly as I excitedly talked on the phone... I then looked at the tag, and I noticed the name on the shoes. Not the brand name, but the style name. Some of you guys (males) out there probably don't know that lots of shoes have a name for that particular style. Anyway, this particular shoe was named "Reece"- which is one of two names we were trying to decide between! And it was spelled right! It was the only pair of shoes I picked up! We've been praying for a sign from God!!! SOOOOOOO I concluded that this could be a message from God (I know some of you fashionistas out there would never believe that God speaks through Wal-Mart shoes {Tara G!} but it's good enough for me.
I was so excited when I came home to tell Christian, bruising my leg while running through the house... only to find that he was gone playing poker! So I waited for him to come home, and he walked through the front door with a half eaten package of Reese's peanut butter cups in his hands! Could that be two signs from God? I don't know... but it's enough for us to decided that our baby is named

Reece Besufeked Gehman!

Okay, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue but "Reece Gehman" isn't bad. He's always "Baby Reece" to me when I think about him.
Yeah, it's great to have a name. Reece means "enthusiasm" and he sure looks enthusiastic to us.
Only a few hours until we hear from Mary (our case worker) to find out if everything went well with the court date in Ethiopia! As soon as we hear from her, we will get our plane tickets!!!!!
I've bought the cutest little outfits for little Reece... it is so fun to shop for those tiny things. Although I have to say that girl clothes are way cuter than boy clothes. It's not fair. Reece is going to have to get a sister.
P.S. I didn't buy the brown shoes. I figured I didn't need them. And they sort of hurt my feet. But I still feel like it was a message from God!

Introducing...???

2007-07-28T12:47:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's true, we have a baby! His name is Besufeked (meaning "God's will") and he is 9 months old. We will make his given name his middle name; the first name is still being hotly contested... For now, let's call him Agent X Besufeked Gehman or Jason Bourne Besufeked Gehman.

We have been waiting all summer for that phone call from our agency case worker, and yet we were still caught by surprise when it happened. Last Friday while Allyson and I were in Boston for a wedding, we got a call from a number we didn't recognize and she almost didn't answer it. She did pick up, though, and heard our case worker on the other end--it turns out she was calling from her cell phone on her day off, which is why we didn't recognize the number.

Now, it just so happened that our luggage had been lost on the way to Boston. And it just so happened that we were renting an apartment rather than staying in a hotel (great way to save $, by the way, plus flexible check-out time), so we couldn't leave the apartment or we'd miss the couriers delivering the luggage. And it just so happened that our friend staying with us had his laptop AND that the apartment had Wi-Fi. I could sum this up more succinctly by just saying, "Through providential circumstances..." but in retrospect, it's encouraging to see how much lined up for us to be introduced to our baby at that moment.

After hearing all about him and finishing the phone call with the case worker, it took us all of 20 minutes to e-mail her back saying that we accept him. We were thrilled! But it was also a little surreal, since we were in Boston and really couldn't start doing a bunch of preparatory stuff. So we just decided to wait, enjoy the time with friends and then hit the ground running when we got back.

Of course, we didn't know if we would hit the ground running or wait 2 more months. Because it's late July, it was unclear whether we would be able to travel before the courts shut down for their rainy season/new year festivities. If we couldn't get to Ethiopia before mid-August, it probably would be October before we could travel. That would quite the letdown, to have to wait 2 more months. Our case worker would get back to us soon on this.

It wasn't until two days ago that she called us back, saying that they had secured a court date for our baby on July 30th! Assuming that court date goes as planned, we will be traveling around Aug 8-10--talk about hair being on fire!

We are definitely running now...

A huge thanks to all of you who have posted congratulatory comments and have cared enough to follow our story. Many of you are walking the same path we are (further ahead or behind) and we look forward to hearing your stories unfold.

Results of the first name contest will be announced shortly...

One note--if you leave a comment, let us know how we can contact you if you want to hear from us!

What Do You Think?

2007-07-25T22:47:00.001-06:00

We think he looks just like us! More to follow...

A New Lease on...Waiting

2007-07-18T12:25:00.000-06:00

I have to apologize for the lack of updates of late. It's just that I'm not motivated to navigate to the blog "dashboard," click on "new post," and then write that all we're doing is waiting. But that's how it's been since our last posting.

Now, mind you, waiting hasn't been all THAT bad. As we are both in the public school system, Allyson and I can't complain too much that we are off all summer while waiting. Could be worse. At the same time, it is infuriating that we have all this time perfectly designed to welcome our sweet baby and get used to being parents with this summer off! Oh well, doing house projects, making cards, and playing poker will have to suffice for the time being.

We did find out toward the end of June that the end of June was NOT the deadline for hoping for a summer adoption. Because our paperwork is already in the Ethiopian court system, we could actually hope for a phone call through the end of July and still travel in August before the Ethiopian court system slows down for a few weeks because of their rainy season/millenium celebration (Ethiopia goes by a different calendar in which their new year falls in September. Furthermore, this year is their Y2k). Apparently, that end of June deadline was for families to submit their paperwork to the Ethiopian court system and still be processed before the break.

We have, however, been able to whet our appetites, so to speak, by meeting Silas Bottomly and Deacon Faulkner! The Faulkners and Bottomlys traveled together in May to adopt their sons from Ethiopia. It was great to meet their very cute babies and hold and love on them. Ally was all giddy after meeting them because she finally was holding cute Ethiopian babies and not just filling out a bunch of paperwork!

Thanks to all of you who have posted comments asking, "What's up--give us an update!" Thank you for waiting expectantly with us. We'll keep you posted!

July 1st--Drop Dead Date for this Summer

2007-06-09T14:32:00.000-06:00

The Ethiopian government recently informed our adoption agency that July 1st is the deadline for adoption dossiers to reach the court system if they are to be processed before the onset of the rainy season (when the country goes into hibernation for 6-8 weeks). For us, that means that we must receive and accept a referral from our adoption agency before July 1st if we have any hopes of traveling this summer.

Now that school is out, Allyson and I have a ton of time on our hands and it's killing us that we might not travel this summer! (no, I'm not whining about having time on my hands) We went to a meet-n-greet yesterday hosted by the adoption agency, during which we got to meet the newly adopted son of a couple who returned from Ethiopia less than a month ago. He was the cutest little guy and sanguine--very content to be passed around and handled by a variety of anonymous (to him) admirers. That and stories of Ethiopia's rich culture and welcoming people from those who had recently traveled there just whet our appetite all the more to travel now and pick up our son!

Alas, this issue of timing is out of our hands. We accept that while continuing to hope for that magic phone call soon. Thanks for hoping and praying with us.

Zenith and Nadir, all in 24 Hours

2007-05-28T10:53:00.000-06:00

We finally got The Call, telling us that our adoption agency had found a potential match for us. As you are probably sensing from the manner of this narrative, things did not unfold has we had expected...
Ally got the call while at work, around 9 am. She called me excitedly and we arranged to have our case worker call us at home at 4 pm so we could be together when she gave us all the information about the baby. We raced home, set up the video camera, got out the laptop, and made the call to our case worker. Over the next 2o minutes, we were introduced to a very cute little baby via pictures and documents on e-mail and some description from our case worker, who had had the opportunity to meet and hold the child.
After hanging up, though, both of us felt anxious and confused. Tired and overwhelmed, we didn't talk and instead plopped into bed for a 2-hour nap, but that didn't shake the uneasiness we felt. What came next was a difficult period of admitting to the feeling we couldn't shake that this child was not the best match for us. Our heads so wanted to say "yes" to this referral, pack our bags, and make plans to travel. We had planned the whole past year for us to adopt during the next few months, as we both are off from school during the summer. We knew that saying "no" probably meant a delay of several months, a wasted summer, and more waiting, which we're totally sick of.
And yet we knew that we had to say "no." At least we were both in agreement, which helped solidify our decision. Wise and loving feedback from some friends over the next day further confirmed our intuition. And so in 24 hours we went from the elation of The Call to more weeks/months of uncertain waiting.
It was difficult to feel the way we did--like I said, we each much preferred not to feel this way, just to be able to say "yes." And what if were just being picky? Or overly anxious first-time parents? These self-doubts were difficult to hurdle inititally, but we knew we had to be true to what we felt. Entering into international adoption brings so much uncertainty with it; the least we can do is have a good sense of peace going in, and neither of us felt it in this case.
I am deliberately withholding the details of why we could not accept this referral. I would feel comfortable sharing the details with those of you more familiar with our story and journey, and I'm sure I'll be talking with a good deal of you about it in the coming days.
Thanks for following our journey and offering your continued encouragement and support.

What will he look like? (Ally's first post!)

2007-05-02T18:08:00.000-06:00

Hello Friends:
Some people have been asking what our little guy will look like. I try to describe the "classic" Ethiopian features: rich, caramel colored skin; fine features, small nose, triangular shaped face (wide forehead, narrow chin), dark brown/black hair, dark brown eyes. If any of you all want to see what a REAL Ethiopian baby looks like, go to the right under "Blogs we're watching" and then click "Ethiopia or Bust" or "Baby Faulkner". Scroll down and you'll see some beautiful babies! BUT that's not why we're adopting from Ethiopia!
The reason is, I have always had a "heart" for Africa. The whole continent seems to be the underdog of the world- it seems cursed. They have AIDS, malaria, famine, tribal warfare, measles, ebola, genocide... the list is endless. And my sense of justice is strong- so I always think of African people as those who are worthy of our empathy. I know there are terrible things that happen in every country, but I tend to focus all of my energy on Africa for some reason. Some would say that "God put it in my heart". Perhaps that's what it is... or maybe it's all those episodes of Doctari that I watched as a child. (Does ANYONE remember that show? I haven't found anyone yet...) It was about African missionaries and I was just enthralled with all the wild animals and the jungle. I am also affected by a favorite teacher (let's all give a shout-out to Mrs. Mahaffey!) who served with her doctor husband as a missionary in Nigeria for 5 years... her stories were fascinating, the photographs unforgettable.
SO the reason we chose Ethiopia is because it's the only country in Africa from which Americans can adopt. And we are just as pleased as can be that our little son (maybe daughter) will be a native African.

Deciding out loud about two kids

2007-04-29T21:44:00.000-06:00

Looks like I'm going to able to follow up those musings and questions posed in the previous post with some answers! Ally and I heard back from Gladney on one of the sibling groups they do have in the orphanage. Our case worker called us two weeks ago and told us what she knew.

Unfortunately, events conspired to keep us from hashing it all out right then. Allyson had just returned from out of town and promptly fell ill. That same day, someone kicked in our door and stole stuff (TV, guitar, vacuum cleaner, and--get this--my electric shaver) while we were at work. And so it would be a week later until we found the first opportunity to talk things out.

Our case worker said that they had identified two cousins in one of their orphanages which they were trying to keep together and thus would be a possibility for us to adopt. Both of the cousins were a bit older than we had requested, but not by much.

As we talked things over, it became clear that we both had reservations. I think if either one of us had been feeling really positive about it and ready to charge ahead, the other could have jumped on board. But that wasn't the case. For me, it was maybe a realization that, not being a parent yet, adopting two at once really is overwhelming.

Long story short, we decided to adopt only one child at this time. Allyson called back our case worker the next day and asked her to look for a little boy around 6 months old for us! We are totally excited and at peace with this decision. We are also relieved that we have been able to come to a decision on this and now move forward.

I will say that the decision was made easier by some unexpected gifts of incredible generosity on the part of friends and family. We received two HUGE checks in the mail to help with adoption, totally out of the blue, and totally unexpected, on the same day. What are the chances of that? There is only one who can orchestrate gifts like that...it helped us come to where we're at now with excitement and anticipation.

Now of course our adoption agency can't make us any guarantees on timelines, but we have observed several other families travel 10-12 weeks after the point we're at now. Ally and I are really hopeful that we could travel in July. The biggest risk factor here is the rainy season in Ethiopia, which apparently starts sometime in August and more or less shuts down the country for six weeks. This means no court dates and thus no processing of adoptions. We remain optimistic that we can travel before then. Please join us in hoping that we do!

Thinking Out Loud About Two Kids

2007-04-26T21:54:00.000-06:00

Allyson and I will have a choice to make in the near future about the request we have made for adoption. We are requesting two siblings under the age of two, but have been told that the orphanages to which our agency has access currently has no children fitting these criteria. We could be waiting for a long time for such a match to be made. We can wait for a little under a year; after that, some of the paperwork in our dossier would expire and we would have to hassle with more money and effort to keep the dossier current.

Our second option is to open ourselves to adopting a sibling group with at least one child older than two. Allyson and I both feel ill-equipped to parent children older than toddlers. I am open to this option and am waiting to hear from Gladney about the sibling groups who are available to them.

The third option is to adopt only one child at this time, which was our mindset when we started the process last summer. Allyson and I really like the idea of two because they can be buddies to each other. Allyson also feels that financially it would be much more difficult to adopt another child later because she'll be home with the child(ren) so we'll be living on half our current income.

Right now we are waiting to hear back from Gladney about the kinds of sibling groups currently in their orphanage. Once we have, we will try to come to some decision on the above three options. We would like to act soon, because if we adopt only one child, we would love to take advantage of both having the summer off to get to our new life together with our baby. I'll write more as soon as I hear from Gladney.

Nuts and Bolts of Ethiopia Referral Process

2007-04-23T20:11:00.000-06:00

I learned from our case worker a few weeks ago a little more about the process of making a referral works in Ethiopia. Gladney has a relationship with three government-run orphanages in the Ethiopian capital of Addis Ababa. Gladney's representative in Ethiopia works with these orphanages to match Gladney's adoption requests with children in the orphanages.

When a match is made, that child comes under Gladney auspices while continuing to live in the orphanage. During this time, Gladney runs medical tests on the child to assess their health and see if they are a match for the potential family. This process takes about six weeks. If the child "checks out," then the referral is made. This means that Gladney sends information about the child to the adoptive parents. If the parents say yes, then the ball keeps rolling forward. It's usually 4-6 weeks after this that the parents travel to pick up their little bundle of joy!

Adoption Weirdness

2007-04-17T21:55:00.000-06:00

Have you heard of the latest in adoption? You request the kind of child you want--male or female, age, types of medical conditions we're willing accept, and so on. Then when your adoption agency makes the match, you just download the kids from the web! No more jet lag, money spent traveling, dealing with 2nd and 3rd world economies. For that matter, no more high-profile trips to Africa and Southeast Asia to plunk down a million $$ at our favorite orphanage, just point and click--I love the internet.

I make this joke regularly as a way of expressing some of the discomfort I've experienced in the adoption process. It just feels weird to me to choose a child. To be sure, the adoption process is not at the point yet we often see portrayed in sci-fi movies, in which every last genetic detail of a child is customizable. Still, even choosing age and sex feels like too much choice to me, like I'm playing God somehow. After all, the 99.9% of parents in the history of the world have not been able to have much choice at all in the kind of child they have. Any other adopting parents out there share this discomfort?

Off To Ethiopia! --Our paperwork, that is...

2007-04-14T13:01:00.000-06:00

I'm still getting used to this blogging thing, so I have not developed a habit of updating the blog regularly yet. We can report that we completed our foreign dossier, which is the paperwork that goes to Ethiopia. Gladney sent it to Washington D.C. via a courier, who will walk it through some final authentications before shipping it to Ethiopia. In Ethiopia, it will be translated and then be filed in the court system, where it will stay parked until Gladney makes a match for us.

That means that we have entered the gray zone that I have learned is called "waiting for referral." This means we are waiting for Gladney to locate a child who matches the what we are hoping for, which is two siblings under the age of two. As I wrote in a previous post, we have learned that two siblings under two are not common, so we could be waiting for a while. Our case worker at Gladney told us that if we were requesting only one child, we would probably be only 2-3 months from traveling (based on similar placements), but making a match for two children could take a lot longer.

Paper: out of our hands and into limbo

2007-03-21T20:53:00.000-06:00

We have (to our knowledge) submitted all of the paperwork required for the foreign dossier (the package of paper that goes to Ethiopia). Ally sent them to the adoption agency about a week ago. Our case worker there will send our documents to the state of Texas for authentication. Once she receives those back, she will send them to where they need to go--D.C. embassies, etc.

I'm not quite sure what happens after that. Perhaps Allyson is more informed on this part of the process and can write about it herself soon. I know the authentication process has taken 2-3 weeks for the other states to which we submitted, so I'm guessing the same for Texas.

I read a book over my spring break recommended to me by another adopting couple. It's called Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits, written by a single Jewish woman who adopted a girl from China. It's all about the complexities of cultivating and nurturing a multicultural family. The book definitely helped me to make this process feel a little more real--there really is a child at the end of all this impersonal effort of filling out papers and writing checks! It also gave me a gut check on some of the challenges that will be involved in adopting a child racially different from us. Not that we haven't thought or talked about that a good deal already, but reading lots of stories from different families and their experiences helps make it more concrete.

Despite the current limbo, my excitement and anticipation is growing. As I mentioned, reading the book helped quicken these feelings, but most of it is just the passage of time that brings us closer to this summer. The adoption agency will not even try to estimate when we might be able to travel to Ethiopia for our child/children, but based on the experiences of other families and typical timelines, we think (and hope) we're still on track to be able to travel in the early summer (June-ish).

Two kids?--Maybe not so fast...

2007-03-01T21:31:00.000-06:00

We found out from our adoption agency last week that there are currently no sibling groups in their orphanages under the age of two, which is what we had requested. This news was quite disappointing to us--we were still really excited about having decided for sure to adopt two children instead of one.

We now need to evaluate our options. Here are several:
--Wait until a sibling group under two comes to one of the orphanages working with our agency.
--Adopt only one child this time around.
--Be willing to adopt at least one child a little older.

Our agency recently stopped doing adoptions of mutliple children at the same time who are not siblings. We don't know the details, but apparently there is evidence that such adoptions make it tougher on the kids with extra issues later on...Thus, we can't adopt two unrelated children under the age of two.

Those of you who pray, would you join us in praying for wisdom in how to proceed? Our desire to is to adopt little ninos (or ninas) under the age of two, but we are open to the idea that we're being drawn into a plan that may not be our first choice but the best in the big picture (the poema tapestry).

Those of you with you experience in this area--any input you can offer?

Thanks for your support!

Double the Joy?

2007-03-01T21:27:00.000-06:00

Ally and I recently decided that we want to adopt two kids from Ethiopia at the same time! I had my reservations initially and took a few months to think about it. Through the social worker who interviewed us for our home study, I was able to get in touch with several other families in the US who had adopted two kids at the same time. This gave me a better idea of what to expect. I liked from the start the idea of adopting two kids at once, but I didn't want to be naive about it. Now we're both really excited about it!

Authentication

2007-03-01T21:12:00.000-06:00

Did you know such a process existed, "Authentication?" It comes after notarization, apparently. Didn't even know about such ethereal levels of bureaucracy until we were well into the adoption process.

In December, we submitted most of the required elements of our agency application, which included many notarized papers from various states. This was enough to move us to the next phase of the process, in which we prepare what's called the foreign dossier. Found out that this entails sending all of our notarized paperwork to their states of origin, so that the secretary of state of, say, New Mexico, can verify that the person who notarized our paper was legit at the time of notarization.

So in January, Allyson--the queen of organization and efficient paperwork--forsook paying a company to process our foreign dossier and took it upon herself to send all of our paperwork to their states of origin. Between birth certificates and letters of recommendation, there were five different states origin, plus Texas.

I groaned when I heard about this process because I had visions of our paperwork languishing for weeks on someone's desk, but I was very surprised by the quick turnaround. Almost every document was returned within 2-3 weeks of our sending it. These secretaries of state earn their keep!

All we have left is the Texas authentications, which we're on the verge of submitting. That leaves just one question, of course: who verifies (super-authenticates? extra-notarizes?) the authenticators?

Battle of the Minutiae

2007-03-01T20:59:00.000-06:00

Friends and family have asked us regularly how the adoption process is coming along, and we have replied somewhat montonously that it's just a lot of paperwork. For those of you interested in a little more information, here's a recent "battle" we fought:

I had a letter notarized by the bank stating that I had been a customer in good standing since such and such time, etc, etc, one of many such letters we have to include in our application. The letter was kicked back to us because the notarized section did not have the words "Subcribed and sworn to..." typed at the bottom of letter. The notary and letter was legit otherwise. So that's another trip back to the bank for a redo.

In the big scheme, such a delay is minor, but these little delays add up when multiplied by the dozens of documents we must get notarized. We remind ourselves that it is in everyone's best interest that all the t's be crossed and i's dotted. The second reason for such attention to detail is that all of our documents will eventually be sent to Ethiopia as what is called our foreign dossier. It will be translated there before it is processed, and any aberration from what's expected could cause a more lengthy hiccup then. Better to work out the kinks now. That's how the glass looks half-full, anyway!

"Axum"--Say What?

2007-02-25T21:27:00.000-06:00

A bit of explanation on the blog title is warranted, of course...If you grew up American, I can guess what sorts of phrases and images might come to mind when you hear "Ethiopia"-- starvation, horribly emaciated children, and the concomitant lame junior high jokes. That about summed up my impressions of Ethiopia until I began reading more of the history of this ancient country. It's quite humbling to discover that this country, which many would have trouble finding on a map today, is in fact a historical giant with a long and rich history.

Here are a few fascinating facts I've discovered about Ethiopia: it's the oldest continuously Christian country in the world; legend has it that the Ark of the Covenant ended up in Ethiopia; it is the only country in Africa to have kicked out a colonizing country (Italy in the 1890s); it was quite fertile until 1960s and 70s when horrible mismanagement of the land led to widespread famine.

Most fascinating to me was something I came across in a book called "There is No Me Without You," (thanks, Gayll!) which tells the story of Ethiopian adoption and the orphan crisis there. The author, Melissa Fay Greene, writes that "Third-century CE Persian writings named the world's four great kingdoms as Rome, China, Persia, and Axum." Axum is the historical name for "the highland Ethiopian kingdom of the Amhara people...the dominant Red Sea power, builder of castles and massive stone monliths, minter of gold, silver, and copper coins."

I hope this doesn't sound like we're trying to verify the pedigree of our future children! I found about all of this after we had already decided on Ethiopia, and found it very interesting, especially in light of commom impressions Americans share of the country.

So there you have it--Axum, the historical name for Ethiopia.

Tonight I Write...

2007-02-25T21:02:00.000-06:00

After a good bit of handwringing, I've decided to start a blog to chronicle our journey to adopt a child from Ethiopia. So far, the process has not made for much exciting news, as 99% of it involves filling out paperwork, and so I thought, "who wants to read about the latest form we had to process?"
But I've read some blogs from other families on the same journey, and I've been impressed with how their blogs have enabled those who care to follow along with them more closely. I'm hoping that the posts you find here will help you, our friends and family, to hear more of what's going on in this often tedious process of adoption. Most of the details we find too pedestrian to share when we're talking on the phone, but I hope it will help those of who are interested to follow along more closely with us.
The first few posts will be "fake" in the sense that they're not happening as we write them--they'll describe things we already experienced just to get everyone caught up. After that, we'll try to keep you current with regular postings.